A lot of the issues you are wanting to address are deeply rooted in “normal” human behavior. I even found this out for myself last night when there was a miscommunication between my twin and me. It took hours, but through patient delving into the subconscious thought forms that led to the miscommunication and the pain that evolved from it. We both learned a great deal from it.
What we have realized is that so much of these issues are incredibly subtle. And the absolute only way to become aware of them and then work to alleviate them is to be completely open and committed to this as a lifelong endeavor, and by “this”, I mean your own growth and awareness.
Mindfulness is NOT enough. This requires action and will.
Meditation is a great way to help mindfulness in this manner, but even it can fall far short if you are not aware of how subtle and seemingly normal these behaviors are. For me, the ONE signal that I can always count on is if a thought or behavior is fear-based. That is when there is a problem. And it can be SO subtle. For example, last night, the issue that came up for us is that I asked my twin a question. I expected a certain type of answer from him, a little more “lovey dovey” than I received. And so I reacted with a bit of sadness and said things from that place. Instead, I should have remembered what we truly are and known that he was busy at work at just answered in the simplest way possible. It is subtle, but there was fear there. I had fear that he did not feel as lovey dovey as I did. But deep down, I know he does.
So the key is to recognize these patterns within ourselves and then respond from a place of love rather than fear. All that really means is that we try to always respond with compassion and openness rather placing our twin or anything in the world outside of us in an adversarial position.
This can be as simple as when you hear about something in current affairs, all the crazy stuff out there in the world, respond with hope and love rather than dreadful fear of what it all means. We must accept and embrace our roles as creators, and so when this happens we can respond with full knowledge that we manifest the world around us and that we are infinite and immortal and that nothing can truly touch us.
I hope this helps some. I am going to include a few of our videos about love-based living versus fear-based. My twin is super at explaining this in terms that are useful!